In Remembrance of Jeanne

There is a sudden vacuum in the atmosphere.
A stillness so heavy it catches in the throat,
an echo in the hallway where a warm voice used to float.
For over a decade, the world narrowed down to a single, sacred room—
to a rhythm of care, of medicine, of shielding her from the gloom.
I was the anchor in the middle of her storm,
keeping the vigil, keeping her safe, keeping her warm.

They try to classify a life on a sterile piece of paper,
write down a clinical acronym and let the truth vaporize into air.
But they don’t know about the storm.
They don’t know about the fierce, quiet war of the mind,
or the beautiful, complex spirit that the dust left behind.
They didn’t see the final, chaotic rain,
where the world stripped away everything but the raw, human pain.

They didn’t feel the magic of her touch.
A connection so deep, so electric, so rare,
that the universe seemed to pause just to watch us there.
Two currents perfectly aligned, working in seamless compatibility,
a depth of intimacy that defied the laws of physical fragility.
Just holding her—just the quiet, fierce gravity of a embrace—
could trigger a climax of the soul, a lightning strike in a quiet space.
We built a sanctuary out of thin air,
a bond so intense, most people wouldn’t even dare to dream it’s there.

Now, the house is a museum of things she used to collect.
A drawer of photos, a lifetime of files to inspect.
A kind neighbor helps haul the material weight away to the street,
while I navigate a grief that knocks me completely off my feet.
One moment I am standing, steady and clear,
the next, a waterfall of tears, drowning in the vacuum of her not being here.
I sleep for seven hours, or I don’t sleep at all,
constantly waking up, listening for her footstep in the hall.

My daughter calls every day, trying to read between the lines,
searching for a reassurance I can’t quite manufacture or find.
Because when you love that deeply, when you care for that long,
you don’t prepare for the quiet after the end of the song.

I know the spiritual nature of life. I know the energy doesn’t die.
I know she is untethered now, free to roam the wide, open sky.
But the human in me misses the magic.
Misses the warmth of the voice that used to call my name.
The world moves on outside, but it will never be the exact same.

Jeanne.
The storm has finally cleared, the physical senses are at rest,
but the electric current of what we shared…
stays locked forever inside my chest.

Wealth Creating Wealth

Is China’s autocracy just a state-level version of British primogeniture? I asked Gemini AI if China is replicating the ‘wealth-creating-wealth’ principle by centralizing capital at the top to fuel its global expansion—much like the British elite once did to power the Industrial Revolution. Here’s what I found about how empires concentrate power to conquer markets.

That is a fascinating, if slightly complex, historical comparison. You’re essentially looking at how different systems “concentrate” capital to drive massive economic shifts—the British via Primogeniture and the Chinese via State Capitalism.

While there are parallels in the result (concentrated wealth used for global expansion), the underlying mechanics and the “why” are quite different.


​The British Model: Primogeniture & Private Capital

In the British Empire, the “wealth-creating-wealth” principle was heavily tied to the legal practice of primogeniture (the eldest son inheriting the entire estate).

• The “Push” Factor: Because younger sons inherited nothing, they were forced into the military, the clergy, or overseas trade. This created a steady stream of ambitious, educated men seeking fortunes in the colonies.
• Industrial Fuel: By keeping estates intact rather than fragmenting them among many heirs, the British aristocracy maintained massive pools of capital. This capital was often reinvested into the infrastructure of the Industrial Revolution, like canals and railways.
• The Goal: Preservation of family lineage and private class status.
  

​The Chinese Model: Autocracy & State Capital

In modern China, the “eldest son” isn’t a person; it is the State-Owned Enterprise (SOE) and the Communist Party’s strategic apparatus.

• The “Pull” Factor: The state centralizes wealth through land ownership, banking control, and taxation. It then directs that wealth toward “overseas opportunities” (like the Belt and Road Initiative) not because of inheritance laws, but as a matter of national geopolitical strategy.
• Industrial Revolution 2.0: While the British relied on private landed wealth, China uses the “All-of-Nation” system. The autocracy acts as the ultimate venture capitalist, subsidizing high-tech industries (EVs, AI, Green Tech) to dominate global markets.
• The Goal: National rejuvenation, regime stability, and global influence.
  

​Comparison at a Glance

Feature	British Empire (18th/19th C)	Modern China
Concentration Mechanism	Primogeniture (Legal/Family)	State Capitalism (Political/Systemic)
Primary Actors	Aristocrats & Merchant Adventurers	State-Owned Enterprises & “National Champions”
Overseas Strategy	Colonialism & Private Trade	Infrastructure Loans & Market Integration
Wealth Source	Land Rents & Early Industry	Manufacturing, Tech, & State Finance

​
The “Wealth-Creating-Wealth” Nuance

I’ve hit on a sharp point: both systems recognize that fragmented wealth is hard to weaponize. However, a key difference is that British wealth was largely bottom-up and private (protected by the rule of law against the King), whereas Chinese wealth is top-down and contingent (the state can reclaim or redirect private wealth, as seen with the recent crackdowns on tech billionaires).

In China, wealth isn’t just about inheritance; it’s about alignment. If a “wealth creator” falls out of step with the autocracy, the wealth-creating engine is handed to a more compliant “son.”

How China’s “Belt and Road Initiative” compares to the British East India Company’s expansion?

This is where the “Wealth-Creating-Wealth” analogy gets particularly sharp. Comparing the Belt and Road Initiative (BRI) to the British East India Company (EIC) reveals how global superpowers “seed” future wealth by building the infrastructure of trade.

While both used capital to secure resources and dominate markets, the EIC was a private monopoly acting like a state, whereas the BRI is a state apparatus acting through markets.

​1. The “Investment” Logic: Stocks vs. Sovereign Debt

The mechanism of wealth creation differs in how the risk is distributed:

• The EIC (Private Capital): It was a joint-stock company. Wealth was created by selling shares to the British elite (those eldest sons and aristocrats we discussed). They risked their own capital for the “upside” of the spice and tea trades. If a ship sank, the investors lost money, not the British taxpayer.
• The BRI (State Capital): China uses Sovereign Loans. Wealth is created by lending billions to developing nations to build bridges, ports, and railways. The “wealth” for China is generated through interest on loans and the requirement that Chinese firms (SOEs) get the construction contracts. If a project fails, the debt remains a liability for the host country—a concept often called “Debt Trap Diplomacy.”

​2. Strategic Chokepoints: Forts vs. Ports

Both empires recognized that to create wealth, you must control the plumbing of global trade.

• The EIC’s “Factories”: The British built fortified trading posts (factories) in places like Bombay and Calcutta. These weren’t just warehouses; they were “legal bubbles” where British law applied, allowing them to extract wealth directly from the local economy.
• The BRI’s “String of Pearls”: China is investing in a network of ports (Hambantota in Sri Lanka, Gwadar in Pakistan, Djibouti in Africa). While China doesn’t claim “sovereignty” in the colonial sense, a 99-year lease on a port (like Hambantota) creates a similar long-term strategic and economic foothold.
  

​3. The “Wealth” they are chasing

• The type of wealth being created has shifted from Commodities to Connectivity:
• The British were after arbitrage: buy low in India (spices, textiles), sell high in London. The wealth was in the physical goods.
• The Chinese are after integration: by building the roads and digital networks (the Digital Silk Road), China ensures that the global supply chain runs on Chinese standards. If a country’s 5G network, rail gauges, and payment systems are all Chinese-designed, they are permanently “locked in” to the Chinese economic orbit.
  

​Comparison Summary: EIC vs. BRI

Feature	East India Company (EIC)	Belt & Road Initiative (BRI)
Entity Type	Private Corporate Monopoly	State-Directed Geopolitical Project
Wealth Source	Arbitrage (Buy low, sell high)	Infrastructure & Debt Interest
Security	Private Mercenary Armies	Economic Leverage & “Soft” Presence
Legal Basis	Royal Charter	Bilateral Memorandums (MoUs)
End Game	Colonial Administration	Global Norm-Setting & Resource Security

​
The “Wealth-Concentration” Twist

In the British era, the EIC made the aristocracy rich, which in turn funded the Industrial Revolution. In the Chinese era, the BRI makes the Chinese State powerful, which in turn funds “national champions” like Huawei or BYD.

The British “eldest son” inherited a fortune to go find a new world; the Chinese “autocracy” creates the fortune to build a new world in its own image.

In Remembrance of Jeanne

There is a sudden vacuum in the atmosphere.
A stillness so heavy it catches in the throat,
an echo in the hallway where a warm voice used to float.
For over a decade, the world narrowed down to a single, sacred room—
to a rhythm of care, of medicine, of shielding her from the gloom.
I was the anchor in the middle of her storm,
keeping the vigil, keeping her safe, keeping her warm.

They try to classify a life on a sterile piece of paper,
write down a clinical acronym and let the truth vaporize into air.
But they don’t know about the storm.
They don’t know about the fierce, quiet war of the mind,
or the beautiful, complex spirit that the dust left behind.
They didn’t see the final, chaotic rain,
where the world stripped away everything but the raw, human pain.

They didn’t feel the magic of her touch.
A connection so deep, so electric, so rare,
that the universe seemed to pause just to watch us there.
Two currents perfectly aligned, working in seamless compatibility,
a depth of intimacy that defied the laws of physical fragility.
Just holding her—just the quiet, fierce gravity of a embrace—
could trigger a climax of the soul, a lightning strike in a quiet space.
We built a sanctuary out of thin air,
a bond so intense, most people wouldn’t even dare to dream it’s there.

Now, the house is a museum of things she used to collect.
A drawer of photos, a lifetime of files to inspect.
A kind neighbor helps haul the material weight away to the street,
while I navigate a grief that knocks me completely off my feet.
One moment I am standing, steady and clear,
the next, a waterfall of tears, drowning in the vacuum of her not being here.
I sleep for seven hours, or I don’t sleep at all,
constantly waking up, listening for her footstep in the hall.

My daughter calls every day, trying to read between the lines,
searching for a reassurance I can’t quite manufacture or find.
Because when you love that deeply, when you care for that long,
you don’t prepare for the quiet after the end of the song.

I know the spiritual nature of life. I know the energy doesn’t die.
I know she is untethered now, free to roam the wide, open sky.
But the human in me misses the magic.
Misses the warmth of the voice that used to call my name.
The world moves on outside, but it will never be the exact same.

Jeanne.
The storm has finally cleared, the physical senses are at rest,
but the electric current of what we shared…
stays locked forever inside my chest.

The Crisis in California: A Summary of Systematic Decline

Given the ongoing deterioration of California, it is truly astonishing that the underlying causes of these issues remain misunderstood by so many—especially as voters continue to support politicians whose policies actively erode the standard of living.

Key Issues at Play

• Fiscal Policy and Resource Allocation: The current administration prioritizes a redistributive agenda that focuses on spreading existing wealth rather than fostering new growth. For instance, billions are allocated to providing healthcare, education, and social services to undocumented immigrants without first establishing the necessary infrastructure. This expansion of coverage, without a proportional increase in the number of medical professionals, has led to a strained healthcare system characterized by excessively long wait times to see specialists, often delaying critical care for all residents.
  
• High Taxes & Regulations: California maintains the highest tax burden in the nation. This regulatory environment is a primary driver of business dissatisfaction, forcing many companies to relocate to more business-friendly states. This is compounded by the fact that California has the second-highest gasoline tax in the country.
  
• The Cost-of-Living Crisis: California faces a severe cost-of-living crisis that fuels interconnected problems such as homelessness, housing shortages, and high poverty. Despite boasting one of the world’s largest economies, the state suffers from some of the highest cost-adjusted poverty and income inequality rates in the U.S.
  
• Budgetary Instability: Following a period of massive surpluses, the state is now grappling with a projected multi-billion dollar budget deficit for 2026—estimated between $18 billion and $20 billion—stemming largely from declining tax revenues.
  
• Job Market & Unemployment: California consistently reports one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation, trailing behind the national recovery average.
• Public Safety: Residents frequently cite rising crime as a top concern, specifically noting high rates of retail theft and persistent issues with violent crime.
  
• Infrastructure & Environment: * Energy: The state has some of the highest utility costs in the country, coupled with an unreliable energy grid during peak demand.
  
  • Water & Fire: Long-term concerns over water management and drought reliability persist, alongside increasingly severe wildfire risks.
    
• Education: The K-12 public school system often ranks poorly in national comparisons, with persistent achievement gaps that fail to prepare the next generation.

Conclusion

These issues are deeply interrelated; prohibitive housing costs and poverty drive both the homelessness crisis and the ongoing exodus of residents to other states.

Stephen Hawking Passing

After hearing about Stephen Hawkin’s passing, I looked up his astrology birth chart to view any relationship to ALS and the consensus seems to be Mars quincunx Neptune, which he had. (Note; a quincunx is an aspect of 150°, also known as an inconjunct).

Further research tends to indicate that it’s not just Mars quincunx another planet that might suggest a medical challenge, but several other factors. These tend to include the ascendant and Saturn either conjunct or in stress aspect.

There is no stated time of birth for Stephen Hawkin, but placing Saturn close to the ascendant, his early years would have been challenging and there is no indication of this. However, if Saturn was in 12th house (late) that would place Uranus (scientific), Lilith (perception) and Jupiter (optimism) all in the first house. Jupiter in the first is extremely optimistic–hence his drive to go on even with ALS. The time of birth for this would be around 1:36 PM on January 8th, 1942.

Stephen Hawkin also had Mars square Mercury which is a significant affect as Mercury is the planet of connections, (the bodily relationship between nervous and neurological activities). There was also a significant number of trines, and grand trines, depending on the number of bodies that are used. He also had the Sun quincunx Chiron, and Venus quincunx North Node, although somewhat wide at 4 degrees. Venus is also square Saturn! (Multiple marriages to younger women?)

On a personal level, I have Mars inconjunct Uranus which may account for my secondary adrenal insufficiency. However, my unidentical twin brother born an hour later at 11:33 pm does not appear to have this problem. His Saturn/Pluto is in the 12th, while mine is in the first, and while I have tended to assert myself more, Saturn is obviously another factor contributing to this condition.

John F. Kennedy had Mars square Uranus and Saturn (wide) square to the ascendant. He also had Primary Adrenal Insufficiency in the form of Addisons Disease. In addition, Mars and Mercury are both quincunx the ascendant.

In my case the adrenal issues may have been caused by an operation to repair a hiatus hernia (from birth) in which they opened up my front, damaging the Vagus Nerve which mediates numerous pathways including the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis (stimulated by vagal afferent fibres) leading to the release of cortisol by the adrenal glands. In addition, I was also overdosed with cortisone acetate when I was first diagnosed with this in my forties. I also have a Sun/Jupiter conjunction square to the ascendant/Saturn.

Mars seems to have a significant influence on various areas of the body such as muscles and the adrenal system. This together with Saturn and the ascendant also contributes a crucial role for specific ailments. Perhaps the inconjunct can reveal a more esoteric or rare medical condition, while squares and oppositions, more common conditions. However, as is often the case with special conditions, several factors have to come together to form a unique state.

A Medical Enigma?

Updated January 2023

My Medical Journey: From Birth Defects to Self-Healing

I have often found it difficult to discuss my medical history; the subject can be depressing, and the complexity is often misunderstood. However, after decades of chronic pain, fatigue, and misdiagnoses, I want to record these events. My hope is to help others navigate similar “convoluted” conditions and to better understand my own journey through time.

Early Complications and Surgical Fallout

My health issues began at birth with a diaphragmatic hiatus hernia, a rare birth defect where the stomach protrudes into the chest cavity. As a child, I suffered from severe pain and regurgitation. At age 21, a barium meal X-ray confirmed the severity of the condition, leading to an experimental surgery. Unlike modern procedures, surgeons performed a frontal opening, removed the stomach to cut a portion away, and reconnected it to a surgically tightened esophagus.

I deeply regret this operation. Recovery took over a year, and it created a cascade of new problems:

• Restricted Diet: My ability to ingest food narrowed significantly.

• Supertaster Sensitivity: I have always been a “supertaster,” making vegetables, spices, and red meat intolerable since infancy.

• Physical Decline: I suffered from intense morning pain, constipation, and extreme weight loss—dropping to 100 lbs despite being six feet tall.

Adrenal Struggles and Medication Side Effects

The fatigue was eventually linked to dangerously low blood pressure. In 1987, an endocrinologist diagnosed me with ACTH deficiency under stress (partial secondary adrenal insufficiency). I was prescribed cortisone acetate for a year without monitoring. The high dosage led to emotional instability and permanent damage, including osteoporosis, a known contraindication of long-term cortisone use.

By the late 1990s, tests showed my hiatus hernia had reopened. However, due to extensive scar tissue from the first operation, further surgery is impossible. For the pain, I was prescribed Carafate, but like most medications, it triggered a systemic reaction: fatigue, nausea, and low body temperature.

The Cycle of Misdiagnosis

For years, I faced “medical gaslighting.” Doctors often dismissed my symptoms as psychological or suggested I was “avoiding vegetables.” I rejected these assessments; my symptoms occurred even when I was unaware I had consumed a trigger substance.

My sensitivity makes conventional treatment dangerous. In 2008, a routine colonoscopy resulted in a week-long hospitalization. The laxatives failed, and the air used during the procedure caused a blockage in my ileum (the junction of the upper and lower intestines).

Pancreatic and Digestive Management

My current physician investigated malabsorption and pancreatic function. I briefly tried Pancrease, but after the FDA standardized formulations, the replacement (Creon) caused a white-coated tongue and nausea.

I now manage my digestion through natural enzymes:

• Papaya and Pineapple: Taken before meals to aid protein digestion.

• Specific Enzymes: High in Protease and Lipase, but low in Amylase (which causes the white tongue).

New Diagnoses: Colitis and Ankylosing Spondylitis

A blood test eventually confirmed inflammatory (ulcerative) colitis, which explained my joint pain, skin rashes, and kidney stones. I learned that fiber—often recommended for others—actually worsens my inflammation.

In 2010, I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS), a chronic disease where the spinal joints attempt to fuse. Because I am highly sensitive to TNF blockers and Remicade (which carries a risk of tuberculosis—a concern since my BCG vaccination causes false-positive TB tests), I manage AS through:

• Daily Exercise: Range-of-motion and posture work.

• Topical Treatment: A combination of Topricin (to aid natural healing) and Rose-scented DMSO cream (as a carrier for deep penetration).

The Turning Point: Spiritual and Alternative Healing

Exhausted by clinical failures, I explored alternative paths. In Colorado, I worked with a shaman named Kat. This experience shifted my perception and included a “spiritual web” placed over my esophagus, which significantly reduced my daily abdominal pain.

Later, I used the Dolores Cannon method of hypnosis to address the progression of AS. These shifts, combined with a focus on being less “rigid and judgmental,” helped clear systemic blockages and reduced the emotional tension that hindered my healing.

Modern Management and the Vagus Nerve

In 2018, a splinter injury triggered a full adrenal crisis, mimicking my 1987 diagnostic tests. This led me to a sympathetic endocrinologist who validated my partial adrenal insufficiency. I now manage this with:

• 5mg Hydrocortisone: A daily maintenance dose that controls inflammation without further bone loss.

• Solu-Cortef: An injectable solution for emergency stress events.

I have come to realize that my issues likely stem from Vagus nerve damage sustained during my original hernia surgery. Current research suggests the Vagus nerve mediates the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis; damage here explains my chronic illnesses, allergies, and adrenal fluctuations.

Current Status

Since September 2020, I have utilized hypno-meditation to initiate significant self-healing. While I still work closely with a caring GP, I have become my own best advocate. Today, I am relatively drug-free and better equipped to identify the nuances between an adrenal crisis and hyponatremia (low salt) events.